Over the last, well, nearly 2 years it seems…life has been tough. It seems like I barely catch my breath from one crisis before the next one arrives. I’m not alone. Ever since the “plandemic,” many people have struggled with finances, families, relationships, health, jobs, having to make difficult, life changing decisions. It seems like almost everyone I encounter could say that “life has been tough.”
Most days I can rally myself and do whatever it is that needs to be done that day. I have a family; I have clients and I have this crazy organization of amazing ladies that I’m trying hard to lead in the direction I feel God is asking of me. I’m not going to lie; some days I just want to crawl into the corner of my closet and weep. And in all transparency, I’ve done it many times. More times than I can count.
I believe in these days the enemy will come against us hard when we are speaking truth and walking in God’s purpose for our lives. The enemy may use distraction as a tool to keep you from the work you are supposed to be doing. He may use guilt, shame or he’ll make you question your ability and qualifications. You know that whole idea of “you’re not good enough! Who do you think you are?” Yeah, he loves that one! We are in a spiritual battle, friends!
I was driving to pick up one of my teenagers from work today and I was listening to this song: “I Know” by Big Daddy Weave. I first heard this song in October 2021, and I just fell apart. It seemed to speak directly to the way I was feeling in that moment and so many moments after that.
I know that You are good
I know that You are kind
I know that You are so much more than what I leave behind
I know that I am loved
I know that I am safe
Cause even in the fire to live is Christ, to die is gain
I know that You are good
I needed that reminder. I needed to know that God IS good. I needed to remind myself that even though I was in so much pain and hopeless that I have a God who loves me and is working all things for my good, even when it hurts and when I don’t see it
I listened to this song on repeat. On more airplane flights than I care to count. Every time I got in my car. In the middle of the day when I felt so lost, I just needed to remind myself that God is in control, and He is not going to leave me.
You don’t answer all my questions
But you hear my when I speak
You don’t keep my heart from breaking
But when it does you weep with me
You’re so close that I can feel you
When I’ve lost the words to pray
Friend, I lost the words to pray. Whatever faith I had; it was easily the size that mustard seed referenced in Matthew 17:20. I had to let other people pray the prayers that I didn’t have the energy or the heart to pray anymore. And they did…and they still do. I would tell you that I was without hope, but I have truly been in that place, and these last couple years was not that.
When I was without hope, I didn’t know God. I felt like I was in a deep, dark pit and there was no light. This time was different. I could see that light – it may have been a tiny spark, but it was there, and I could see it. That’s the difference in knowing God during your darkness and not. You know He’s there…even when it hurts, you know He’s hurting too. You know that there is purpose in your pain…because that is just the way God works. He works all things for our good. Doesn’t mean it’s going to feel good.
It's been a rough week. I put this song on tonight because I needed to remind myself that I am loved by God, and I am safe, and that God is good. And I felt like I was supposed to share this with you.
The holiday season is difficult for so many. I hope that this message, this song, is comfort to someone who may be feeling hopeless and faithless.
Over the last couple of months, I have watched God do a miracle I didn’t think was possible. I had resigned myself to the alternative. But He did the miracle and with every miracle He does it gives us hope and grows our faith…”DO IT AGAIN, LORD, DO IT AGAIN!”
It’s okay if you’ve run out of prayers and run out of hope. A teeny tiny amount of faith can move mountains. Listen to this song and know that you are loved and know that God is good.
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